So now everyone knows the secret I’ve been keeping for 9 months…no I’m not preggers, Chad and I were the second team eliminated. Now I can’t wait to get into the nooks and crannies of this episode, but first I have to clarify one thing. Panya needs to shut the fuck up in regards to things she knows nothing about! That delusional woman seemed to think she was the genius behind deciding on painting the restaurant red. WE WERE THE RED TEAM STUPID!!! Everyone was already thinking red. And anyone who knows me knows its my favorite color. Anyone who knows me and my style, can look at that mock up and know that that was about 90% me. Vanessa can back me up too, cause her and I talked about the idea before we were ever given that challenge. In the actual episode, its edited to look like Panya was the first to say “Let’s do red”, but before we walked into Pier 1, we were huddled in a group and Vanessa and I said red first. The reason I claimed credit when Marco asked who decided red, was because the contrasting stripe idea was 100% mine. (BTW, I have to credit my Uncle Chris, owner of Reincarnations Furnishings in DC, who taught me the technique) So sorry Panya but style is something you’re born with, not something you put on. So take your ass to Saks and buy yourself some class. 

I remember when we started painting, Panya started behaving differently, and seemed annoyed. I should have addressed it eariler, but we had way too much to do for me to worry. Not to mention the problems the kitchen was having, due to Nicole Miller being way too difficult and picky. Let’s make a list shall we;

First she didn’t want sea bass because it wasn’t PC. (The fish is already dead in our fridge, you not eating it won’t save the planet so shut up and enjoy your meal!) Next, she demanded that the baby chickens be boneless 3 hours before service. (If that had been me in the BOH, I would’ve just said sorry but no. NO catering company would do that, 3 hours away from service, not to mention it affects the presentation) One of the things not aired, was that Nicole also requested bread from some uptown bakery. (Which I’ll get to in a minute) So while the kitchen is trying to accommodate picky fashionistas who are only going to poke their food anyways, the FOH team was rushing to get everything done. Part of our prize for winning the design challenge, was that we got enough chairs for our entire restaurant free. (The other team had to buy all of their chairs out of their $3000 budget) So we had to unpack, unwrap, unsticker, and put out 60 brown leather chairs. For about 2 hours, the corner of Bowery and 2nd looked like a flea market for leather daddies. Also, because our painting technique was a 2 step method, it took twice as long to paint. So on the second day, we finished painting about 2-3 hours before service. Panya however, wanted to paint the baseboards. Vanessa and I told her it wasn’t necessary and no one would see them anyways. If we had done that, the dining room would still be smelling like paint when guests were walking in. At this point Panya wasn’t really talking to me, so she decided now was the time to go pick up the magic bread that Nicole “had” to have. One of the rules of running errands was that you always had to go in groups of 2, so Chad (who had already been helping with alot of FOH) volunteered to go with her. This left only me, Vanessa and Anapol to finish setting all the tables, unwrapping and unstickering every glass, plate and piece of silverware. They returned with the bread half an hour before service. Oh! I almost forgot, we only had enough linens for the first night. So the next morning, we had to go to the producers to ask to have them sent out for cleaning. So out they go, the linens return a few hours later, slightly damp and all wrinkled in a black trash bag. Apparently someone had taken them to a laundromat but didn’t press them. So the producers got us a tiny iron to do 60 linens. (We didn’t get the iron until the second day of the challenge which was after Marco saw the mock up) There simply wasn’t time to iron all the linens plus set the tables and do everything else. Especially since Panya had decided to abandon us in our final hour. 

In regards to naming the restaurant, I thought it was interesting that Michael wanted to name it “Taste of Thyme” and coincidentally, thats the name of his catering company. Black team went with Soul, which in another shocking coincidence, is the name of Angie’s restaurant in Philly. I think it’s pretty clear at this point, that these people were in it for themselves. I know its a competition, and maybe that’s why I was sent home, because I wasn’t ruthless. In typical reality tv cliché, some people weren’t there to make friends. I think that’s why Vanessa and I bonded, we were there to run a restaurant and to do our best on our own terms, it doesn’t benefit you in the long run to be an asshole or make enemies. I don’t think anyone who knows me would question how badly I wanted to win, and how much I want my own restaurant, but I’m not willing to sell my soul to get it. What’s the point of being successful if you haven’t got any friends or loved ones to share it with?

Service was stressful, obviously. I don’t care what anyone says, doing an event of 70 people of multiple entrees all being served and plated at the same time, is extremely difficult for anyone! Especially with only 8 people on staff. I don’t know how the black team even dealt with it. (I did love Zan’s comments about the bees though!) One of the things they showed but didn’t explain was my signature cocktail, our Crimson Mimosa which was based off a sorbet I made once of blood orange juice and champagne. During the critic’s review Jeffrey Steingarten said it was one of the best cocktails he’d had. (Which was a personal highlight in my life, although the world will never know!) Another personal highlight was making Jeffrey laugh, after he asked if Chilean Sea Bass was endangered and I replied “Not here it isn’t, we’ve got plenty!” In retrospect, I really can’t believe I’d said that, but I love myself even more for doing so! 

Despite many problems on black team, Jeffrey “Original Gansta” Steingarten decided they’d won. My stomach sank when he said it. Walking back to Crimson was like the walk of shame, but I still didn’t think Chad and I were at risk cause I felt I’d done a great job. We’d run out of two entrees (it was Michael’s job to order the food) and I’ve already explained Panya’s faults. So I was sure they would be going home. I still get tense when I watch the eliminations, the feeling in the room is heavy and thick. You know how some animals can smell fear, well Crimson was rank with it that night. And at first it seemed to be going towards Michael and Panya. That is until Chad made the mistake of calling himself a back up. He made himself a target and Panya exploited that. Although I do respect Lisa’s point of view, because even though she voted for us, I knew that it was genuinely in the interest of having a stronger kitchen. Vanessa and Marco seemed to be the only ones on my side. Marco was trying to get Chad to fight, but at the end of it all I think Chad just couldn’t handle the heat in the kitchen and had to get out. The reality is that Lisa and Michael were stronger chefs than him, and he knew he couldn’t cut it. A lot of people have said that he threw me under the bus, and even Marco acknowledged that Chad was taking me with him, but I’ve already made my peace with it. I was never angry with Chad, I knew going into the show what his flaws were. I just thought that my strengths were strong enough to keep us afloat. I still think that both FOH and BOH members should be scrutinized equally during the eliminations,  because if they were then we would have survived longer. But Chad dug his own grave, and there was nothing I could do to dig us out. Leaving was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, I’d fought so hard to be there. The casting process was 2 months long, and the 9 days I spent in New York were the hardest 9 days of my life. (The show also forgot to mention that Gifford’s Ice Cream let me go as a result of leaving for NYC in the middle of summer, so I really felt like this was my big chance.)

But having to live it all over again on TV…it’s like having to relive the death of your child. One of the things they didn’t air during our exit interview was that I’d said over and over again how opening this restaurant was like the birth of a child. “And now I feel like my baby’s just died” I said with my face red from exhaustion, and wet with hours worth of tears. After we left Crimson for the last time, we were taken back to our hotel, and all I can remember is calling my boyfriend who could barely understand my tear soaked sentences. During the two weeks that followed, I’ve never been more depressed in my life. I’d played it over and over in my head, thinking that I should’ve been BOH, or gone with someone else. I’d sleep only a few hours a night, laying awake in bed hoping when I woke up I’d be back in New York. But as time passed I realized that Chad and I made it together, so going with someone else means we might not have even made it on the show. Its amazing how much a person can change in 1 year. If I had been then the person I am today, then perhaps I would have been BOH. But despite everything, I still believe that everything happens for a reason. I am extremely grateful to have had that opportunity, to have met Marco, and to get the chance to do things I’d never done before. I know that The Chopping Block better prepared me for opening my restaurant one day. I know now that I do have what it takes to open a restaurant. Even though I didn’t win TCB, I know that I can make it in New York, and you know what they say.

So what am I up to now you ask? When I came back I knew that my biggest mistake was not having the confidence to compete in BOH, even though I knew I was good at cooking, I had never worked the line. So I got a job at a little Italian restaurant doing just that. I worked there as Sous Chef for 7 months, and completely redesigned their dessert menu. (This is where I created my signature dessert, the caprese dolce) However there were a lot of internal problems and it simply wasn’t the most professional of kitchens. However I accomplished there what I set out to do. I learned that I was actually really good on the line, and this boost of confidence was exactly what I needed to get out of my post-chopping block funk. Currently I’m teaching cooking classes to kids and teens at Young Chefs Academy in Rockville, MD and freelancing as a personal chef. I really love teaching and it’s a nice change of pace from the hustle and bustle of the restaurant world. However everything I do is still in the interest of opening my restaurant, and one day I’ll return to that world. All I can do is take it one day at a time and work my ass off, cause I still have a lot to accomplish in my life, and I don’t plan on stopping til I’m dead! 

Coming soon, Mikey the T-shirt! Pursuing the interest of fashion and design for foodies, I’m designing a shirt for shirt.woot.com based on my chef’s knife tattoo. Check back often to find out when and where you can get it! And even though I’m not on the show anymore, I’ll still be posting a weekly chopping block review, as well as posting all my latest news and events! Please feel free to email me your comments, questions, job offers, whatever!

Love ya,

Mikey

Howdy y’all!

Well the nervousness has finally faded now that I’ve watched and rewatched the premiere. The highlight of which so far is clearly my “easy bake oven” comment. Immediately after it aired, I started getting texts from people both loving and hating what I’d said. Still I believe it’s true, alot of people entertain the idea of opening restaurants without any real experience. I have personal experience with this as I’ve worked with plenty of people who were once successful in previous careers and might have been good home cooks, they get a little money together and put together a hodgepodge menu with no concept or thought behind anything, but then wonder why they are only turning 6 covers a night. It takes alot more than good cooking to run a restaurant. Like I said, It takes Moxie! (I don’t know what 1930’s flapper had possessed me when I said that!)

Anyways, onto the episode! First of all I have to say they really didn’t do the clean up justice. When we walked into that restaurant it looked like Chris Brown and Rihanna (allegedly!) had a date there! There were piles, PILES of sawdust and cat litter on everything! Most of the tables were stored in the basement, none of them matched, most of them were wobbly, the walls were scratched, scuffed and in general the place was more fucked up than Amy Winehouse on vacation! It took 2 days to get everything cleaned up, I remember going home at night and my shirt (the now famous grilled cheese) was totally drenched with sweat, and I was blowing black dust out of my nose for days. Sorry to be so graphic, but if you’re shocked thus far you really don’t get the concept of “unfiltered and unedited” which this blog promises to be. I also need to explain that even though the kitchen was upstairs, the dish machine, prep areas, walk-ins and dry storage was all downstairs in the basement. This wasn’t a quick little jog down 4 steps, this was a frightful 20 something steps, and I was sure it was going to wind up like Showgirls. We had almost NO time to clean up, set up and prepare for dinner service. (It was total about 14 hours I think) Also what they didn’t show was that they had provided all the plates, glassware, silverware, etc. and we had to unpackage, unsticker and wash EVERY last piece!!! We also had to deal with the condition of the front of house because that shit was NOT cute! We didn’t have time to paint, and we were on our own to figure out where stores and supply shops were (none of us knew NYC very well). Knowing we couldn’t paint, Vanessa and I decided to nail fabric to the walls. So she went to the only fabric store we knew of, Mood from Project Runway. The only problem was that we were downtown in the village, and Mood is uptown, a good hour in NYC rush hour. I told her to buy a bolt of the most tasteful but cheap fabric she could get. (We only had a budget of about $1000. which is nothing for a restaurant) She comes back with a roll of burlap…I’m SO not kidding. I wish they had shown us cutting strips of it as it started to unravel and pollute the floor we’d already worked so hard to clean. Then we realized none of the tables matched and we needed tablecloths. So Panya and I went to Crate and Barrel for linens, which killed our budget but at least it looked safe enough to eat in. When I came back, Vanessa had played with the idea of using burlap as tablecloths, but I said right then and there that we were not serving dinner at Green Acres. We tossed the burlap, then I discovered that she’d also gotten about 20 yards of brown cotton. We were literally nailing the last of the fabric when people started walking in. 

Onto the service, the show did capture it pretty well, and I know I come off as a little ditzy when food was sitting in the window and I was gabbing to my table. But since Vanessa hadn’t served before I had the bulk of the tables (Anapol was bartending, and Panya was managing…sort of) and the chaos of the service juxtaposed with my nervousness and anxiety had gotten the best of me and tend to over-talk when I’m nervous. For the desserts, which we got killed on, I don’t disagree that it was kind of an afterthought, but what they didn’t show is that the reason they were hard is because we had to put them in the walk in to prevent them from melting. (It was 90 degrees in the basement and even hotter in the kitchen) The main question people keep asking me is “If you’re a chef too, why didn’t you do BOH?” 

When Chad and I knew we were getting close to being cast, we had that conversation, and to be honest, working at Gifford’s Ice Cream did 2 things for me, it made me really good at making ice cream and candy, but also sacrificed some of my more basic skills. I hadn’t really worked the line before, there were some things I wasn’t comfortable cooking (fish was a big one) and in general, I didn’t have 100% confidence in BOH. Chad on the other hand, had no experience in FOH and since I’d worked every FOH position, I was happy to take the reigns. When I came back from New York, the first thing I did was get a job on the line to get the experience I needed. (Don’t think this is a clue to anything, as every contestant had to “return to your normal lives” per the contract with nbc.) So in retrospect, if I’d had the knowledge and skills I have now I might have been BOH instead, but I can’t change the past, and I don’t believe in regret. Everything happens for a reason, and if you’re happy with where you are, you can’t regret how you got there. 

I was however really surprised with Khoa’s decision to leave, (everything that happens with the black team, I’m seeing for the first time) and I feel bad that he had to step up when he clearly didn’t need to go home yet. But I think it’s pretty clear already that black team has alot of issues, whereas the red team worked much more as a team. Although elimination is a ruthless bitch, and when you’re backed into a corner the claws come out! (And yes, Angie really is that difficult and loud! Just deciding on lunch is a knock down drag out fight with her!)

So there you go, I’m sorry if I missed a detail you were hoping for, but I need to stop being lazy and get ready to start my day. Despite being an international sensation, I still have to wait in line at the DMV. 

Peace out kids,

Mikey

Hey kids,

The night I’ve waited for is finally here, the premiere of The Chopping Block! I’ve watched the previews (on nbc.com) and so far I’m both excited and terrified! It’s a strange feeling…the only thing I can compare it to is the feeling you get the night before surgery. Nervous, anxious, slightly bloated from too much jello…actually, its kind of full circle in a way. It was almost exactly a year ago that Chad and I went down to the open casting, I felt much the same way I do today. I remember spending the better part of an hour picking out the perfect outfit as if it were a modeling competition for chubby gay chefs. I was so nervous and excited…second guessing the way I’d filled out the application. Now, one year later I am back in my closet trying to figure out what to wear that perfectly expresses the situation. 

My various and fickle emotions are almost confusing me at this point, and its a bizarre sensation watching yourself on TV. After the first few days you get used to the cameras, and once Marco told us the restaurant was open for business, I wasn’t on a TV show anymore. I hate to perpetuate a reality show cliché, but it wasn’t just a show, it was my life. Opening a restaurant has been my life’s goal, my dream, my overwhelming desire. I don’t think I’ll ever be satisfied until I do, so for me this really was like a dream come true. So you forget it’s an alternate reality, I just went to business as if it was my job. If you want to understand what it’s like, imagine the most stressful situation you can possibly conjure, then put yourself in an unfamiliar city, with 7 other total strangers who you want to trust, but between the lines you know everyone, including me, is really a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Emotions are heightened, you’re put into a very vulnerable place, then all of a sudden its part of Prime Time entertainment. I kind of feel like I did in high school, terrified about what everyone will think. As an adult I’ve become a person who usually doesn’t care about what people think of me on a personal level, but in my career I care greatly. And despite the fact that I know I didn’t do anything to make an ass of myself, I can’t deny that they can edit me any way they see fit. I don’t really think I have the ability to perfectly put into words exactly how it feels…maybe the Germans have a word for it…I’m not sure. 

Part of the casting process is  meeting with a psychologist to make sure you can handle the stress of the situation, and now whenever I am faced with a difficult or especially stressful situation, I tell myself “If I could handle the show, I can handle this.” Because simply put, it was the single most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do, mentally, physically, emotionally…the HARDEST thing I’ve EVER done! (It was so much work and stress that I actually forgot to eat or drink anything for like 10 hours one day, I had just worked for so long that I forgot how to interpret basic survival instincts!) But now I begin to wonder how much stress the human psyche can endure before the mind explodes. My personal life has been all over the charts lately, and despite how excited I am for the show, I’m also worried beyond measure about my family. A few weeks before going to the casting call, I found out my aunt was diagnosed with colon cancer. At the time everyone was saying she would be fine and they could treat it, so it wasn’t on my mind much. Now, a year later, she continues to fight, but at this point the chemo is doing more harm than good. I’m eternally grateful that she’s still here to watch the show, and I know she’s proud of me. But now you can begin to understand why my head is all over the place. I’m excited about the show coming out, but nervous and terrified about how the world will see me, and at the same time I feel guilty for being happy about something so selfish when my aunt is going through something so difficult. Insert inner mantra here; “If I can handle the show…”

It really is just the tip of the iceberg as they say…sorry to unload to much, but I warned you that this would be me totally unfiltered!!! During the show, we had to do nightly video confessionals, it was the only time I was in front of a camera totally by myself and able to say whatever I wanted. Believe it or not, it was really therapeutic, and I kind of miss it. But writing this blog is sort of the same experience…so you can come to expect the same honestly. 

Have fun watching tonight, I’ll be doing the same!

Cheers,

Mikey

Hey Kids,

First I just want to say Thanks to you for visiting my brand spanking new website and blog! I’m really excited to have this outlet to communicate with. Although I use Facebook and Myspace, I find that they can be a little confusing  or overly complicated. So I decided to create this space as a way for me to speak my mind, unfiltered, unedited, just pure Mikey! Second, I just want to say thank you to Emma Wrigley who created my webpage exactly how I wanted despite my often random and wacky ideas!

We created the site to be no frills so that it would be easy for anyone to navigate to use. Eventually I’d like this site to be a place for you to come get ideas, inspiration, or maybe just a cheap laugh. In the future I’ll post my personal recipes and tips to help you cook, entertain, and just be fierce! I often work best in collaboration, so if you have any ideas you want to share, please send them my way and I’ll post them on the site.

But for now, if you’re reading this, then you’ve most likely heard of me from NBC’s restaurant competition, The Chopping Block. (Premieres wednesday March 11th at 8pm) I can’t really say much about it yet, but I can assure you it won’t be like anything else you’ve seen! I apologize for not posting more this time, but check back after the premiere cause after every episode, I’ll post my two cents on everything that happened!

Thanks again,

Mikey