So now everyone knows the secret I’ve been keeping for 9 months…no I’m not preggers, Chad and I were the second team eliminated. Now I can’t wait to get into the nooks and crannies of this episode, but first I have to clarify one thing. Panya needs to shut the fuck up in regards to things she knows nothing about! That delusional woman seemed to think she was the genius behind deciding on painting the restaurant red. WE WERE THE RED TEAM STUPID!!! Everyone was already thinking red. And anyone who knows me knows its my favorite color. Anyone who knows me and my style, can look at that mock up and know that that was about 90% me. Vanessa can back me up too, cause her and I talked about the idea before we were ever given that challenge. In the actual episode, its edited to look like Panya was the first to say “Let’s do red”, but before we walked into Pier 1, we were huddled in a group and Vanessa and I said red first. The reason I claimed credit when Marco asked who decided red, was because the contrasting stripe idea was 100% mine. (BTW, I have to credit my Uncle Chris, owner of Reincarnations Furnishings in DC, who taught me the technique) So sorry Panya but style is something you’re born with, not something you put on. So take your ass to Saks and buy yourself some class.
I remember when we started painting, Panya started behaving differently, and seemed annoyed. I should have addressed it eariler, but we had way too much to do for me to worry. Not to mention the problems the kitchen was having, due to Nicole Miller being way too difficult and picky. Let’s make a list shall we;
First she didn’t want sea bass because it wasn’t PC. (The fish is already dead in our fridge, you not eating it won’t save the planet so shut up and enjoy your meal!) Next, she demanded that the baby chickens be boneless 3 hours before service. (If that had been me in the BOH, I would’ve just said sorry but no. NO catering company would do that, 3 hours away from service, not to mention it affects the presentation) One of the things not aired, was that Nicole also requested bread from some uptown bakery. (Which I’ll get to in a minute) So while the kitchen is trying to accommodate picky fashionistas who are only going to poke their food anyways, the FOH team was rushing to get everything done. Part of our prize for winning the design challenge, was that we got enough chairs for our entire restaurant free. (The other team had to buy all of their chairs out of their $3000 budget) So we had to unpack, unwrap, unsticker, and put out 60 brown leather chairs. For about 2 hours, the corner of Bowery and 2nd looked like a flea market for leather daddies. Also, because our painting technique was a 2 step method, it took twice as long to paint. So on the second day, we finished painting about 2-3 hours before service. Panya however, wanted to paint the baseboards. Vanessa and I told her it wasn’t necessary and no one would see them anyways. If we had done that, the dining room would still be smelling like paint when guests were walking in. At this point Panya wasn’t really talking to me, so she decided now was the time to go pick up the magic bread that Nicole “had” to have. One of the rules of running errands was that you always had to go in groups of 2, so Chad (who had already been helping with alot of FOH) volunteered to go with her. This left only me, Vanessa and Anapol to finish setting all the tables, unwrapping and unstickering every glass, plate and piece of silverware. They returned with the bread half an hour before service. Oh! I almost forgot, we only had enough linens for the first night. So the next morning, we had to go to the producers to ask to have them sent out for cleaning. So out they go, the linens return a few hours later, slightly damp and all wrinkled in a black trash bag. Apparently someone had taken them to a laundromat but didn’t press them. So the producers got us a tiny iron to do 60 linens. (We didn’t get the iron until the second day of the challenge which was after Marco saw the mock up) There simply wasn’t time to iron all the linens plus set the tables and do everything else. Especially since Panya had decided to abandon us in our final hour.
In regards to naming the restaurant, I thought it was interesting that Michael wanted to name it “Taste of Thyme” and coincidentally, thats the name of his catering company. Black team went with Soul, which in another shocking coincidence, is the name of Angie’s restaurant in Philly. I think it’s pretty clear at this point, that these people were in it for themselves. I know its a competition, and maybe that’s why I was sent home, because I wasn’t ruthless. In typical reality tv cliché, some people weren’t there to make friends. I think that’s why Vanessa and I bonded, we were there to run a restaurant and to do our best on our own terms, it doesn’t benefit you in the long run to be an asshole or make enemies. I don’t think anyone who knows me would question how badly I wanted to win, and how much I want my own restaurant, but I’m not willing to sell my soul to get it. What’s the point of being successful if you haven’t got any friends or loved ones to share it with?
Service was stressful, obviously. I don’t care what anyone says, doing an event of 70 people of multiple entrees all being served and plated at the same time, is extremely difficult for anyone! Especially with only 8 people on staff. I don’t know how the black team even dealt with it. (I did love Zan’s comments about the bees though!) One of the things they showed but didn’t explain was my signature cocktail, our Crimson Mimosa which was based off a sorbet I made once of blood orange juice and champagne. During the critic’s review Jeffrey Steingarten said it was one of the best cocktails he’d had. (Which was a personal highlight in my life, although the world will never know!) Another personal highlight was making Jeffrey laugh, after he asked if Chilean Sea Bass was endangered and I replied “Not here it isn’t, we’ve got plenty!” In retrospect, I really can’t believe I’d said that, but I love myself even more for doing so!
Despite many problems on black team, Jeffrey “Original Gansta” Steingarten decided they’d won. My stomach sank when he said it. Walking back to Crimson was like the walk of shame, but I still didn’t think Chad and I were at risk cause I felt I’d done a great job. We’d run out of two entrees (it was Michael’s job to order the food) and I’ve already explained Panya’s faults. So I was sure they would be going home. I still get tense when I watch the eliminations, the feeling in the room is heavy and thick. You know how some animals can smell fear, well Crimson was rank with it that night. And at first it seemed to be going towards Michael and Panya. That is until Chad made the mistake of calling himself a back up. He made himself a target and Panya exploited that. Although I do respect Lisa’s point of view, because even though she voted for us, I knew that it was genuinely in the interest of having a stronger kitchen. Vanessa and Marco seemed to be the only ones on my side. Marco was trying to get Chad to fight, but at the end of it all I think Chad just couldn’t handle the heat in the kitchen and had to get out. The reality is that Lisa and Michael were stronger chefs than him, and he knew he couldn’t cut it. A lot of people have said that he threw me under the bus, and even Marco acknowledged that Chad was taking me with him, but I’ve already made my peace with it. I was never angry with Chad, I knew going into the show what his flaws were. I just thought that my strengths were strong enough to keep us afloat. I still think that both FOH and BOH members should be scrutinized equally during the eliminations, because if they were then we would have survived longer. But Chad dug his own grave, and there was nothing I could do to dig us out. Leaving was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, I’d fought so hard to be there. The casting process was 2 months long, and the 9 days I spent in New York were the hardest 9 days of my life. (The show also forgot to mention that Gifford’s Ice Cream let me go as a result of leaving for NYC in the middle of summer, so I really felt like this was my big chance.)
But having to live it all over again on TV…it’s like having to relive the death of your child. One of the things they didn’t air during our exit interview was that I’d said over and over again how opening this restaurant was like the birth of a child. “And now I feel like my baby’s just died” I said with my face red from exhaustion, and wet with hours worth of tears. After we left Crimson for the last time, we were taken back to our hotel, and all I can remember is calling my boyfriend who could barely understand my tear soaked sentences. During the two weeks that followed, I’ve never been more depressed in my life. I’d played it over and over in my head, thinking that I should’ve been BOH, or gone with someone else. I’d sleep only a few hours a night, laying awake in bed hoping when I woke up I’d be back in New York. But as time passed I realized that Chad and I made it together, so going with someone else means we might not have even made it on the show. Its amazing how much a person can change in 1 year. If I had been then the person I am today, then perhaps I would have been BOH. But despite everything, I still believe that everything happens for a reason. I am extremely grateful to have had that opportunity, to have met Marco, and to get the chance to do things I’d never done before. I know that The Chopping Block better prepared me for opening my restaurant one day. I know now that I do have what it takes to open a restaurant. Even though I didn’t win TCB, I know that I can make it in New York, and you know what they say.
So what am I up to now you ask? When I came back I knew that my biggest mistake was not having the confidence to compete in BOH, even though I knew I was good at cooking, I had never worked the line. So I got a job at a little Italian restaurant doing just that. I worked there as Sous Chef for 7 months, and completely redesigned their dessert menu. (This is where I created my signature dessert, the caprese dolce) However there were a lot of internal problems and it simply wasn’t the most professional of kitchens. However I accomplished there what I set out to do. I learned that I was actually really good on the line, and this boost of confidence was exactly what I needed to get out of my post-chopping block funk. Currently I’m teaching cooking classes to kids and teens at Young Chefs Academy in Rockville, MD and freelancing as a personal chef. I really love teaching and it’s a nice change of pace from the hustle and bustle of the restaurant world. However everything I do is still in the interest of opening my restaurant, and one day I’ll return to that world. All I can do is take it one day at a time and work my ass off, cause I still have a lot to accomplish in my life, and I don’t plan on stopping til I’m dead!
Coming soon, Mikey the T-shirt! Pursuing the interest of fashion and design for foodies, I’m designing a shirt for shirt.woot.com based on my chef’s knife tattoo. Check back often to find out when and where you can get it! And even though I’m not on the show anymore, I’ll still be posting a weekly chopping block review, as well as posting all my latest news and events! Please feel free to email me your comments, questions, job offers, whatever!
Love ya,
Mikey